My heart is broken in a million ways,
You left this world yet I must stay.
I feel alone, abandoned, and lost above all,
No longer having a Mom to pick up the phone and call.
Swimming in this cold, vast pond,
Shouting Where Are You?
Why Did You Leave Me Behind?
Forever severing our Mother Daughter bond.
Feeling so selfish for wanting you here to lean on,
Yet relieved that you are not suffering and the pain is gone.
The agony is as real as the moment you took your last breath,
Forcing me to come face-to-face with the inevitability of Death.
I am grateful for the 27 years together yet angry for the years you will miss.
My childhood died with you and my heart aches for all of the memories that will never be.
Who will keep me safe, cheer on my accomplishments and zip up my wedding dress?
Take me back to the days where I had the comfort of my Mom and lived in carefree bliss.
I wish I could have saved you, healed you, defeated that wicked cancer,
But I couldn’t and here I am asking God for the answers.
I want to pretend it’s not true and numb myself completely,
Yet it’s time for me to allow the sorrow so I can someday experience life more sweetly.